A lot of men think that a good dating photo is primarily about ''looking good” Nice lighting, a good camera, a little posing, and you're done.
But thinking that's all there is to it is a big mistake.
The photos that work best on dating apps almost never feel like they're part of a photoshoot. They feel like someone is observing you. As if the photo was taken by accident. And that's precisely makes them powerful.
Why only staged photos don't work
What women find attractive on dating apps (and in real life) is not someone trying to impress them. It's someone has innate value without the need to prove it..
Compare it to a normal conversation. If the first thing someone tells you is that they earn a million a month, you don't think: “that's so awesome.” You think: this person is trying to compensate for something.
Which has the exact same effect as posed photos.
The moment a woman feels you're trying too hard, she mentally checks out. Not consciously, but instinctively.
Especially in the age of AI, women are very sensitive to something that feels too tryhard.
What women do find attractive in photos
Women react strongly to photos that show
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Someone who's comfortable
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Someone leading an interesting life
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that someone is not too concerned with how they come across
It's not about perfection. It's about nonchalance.
You don't need to emphasize how successful, handsome, or interesting you are. That should be communicated visually and naturally.
What men often get wrong
What I most often see in men is that they strive for a level of control.
They're stiffly posed. Arms tight at their sides. Shoulders tense. Gaze straight at the camera. Everything feels staged and tense.
Which makes sense as most men hardly take pictures of themselves. As soon as a camera is pointed at them, they try to “do it right.”.
And that's precisely what makes undermines the photo on a dating app.
What makes a nonchalant photo attractive
A photo is good when it doesn't feel like it was meant to be a photo.
The elements that make the biggest difference in this are:
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Look
Don't stare straight into the camera. Look away for a moment, then look back. That moment in between is often the most powerful.
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Relaxation
The calmer you look, the more attractive the photo. Tension is always visible.
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Interacting with your environment
Have something in your hands. Something you're looking at. That takes away the focus from the camera.
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Movement
Photos that are taken while walking, turning, or talking almost always feel better than still poses.
These are often small details, but they literally make the difference between a bad photo and a photo that works.
Why men never get this
Not because they can't, but because they never do.
If you never take photos, you rarely know how you look in them. And if you don't know that, you automatically start posing. Checking. Forcing.
Women usually have more experience in the photo game. They take more photos, are more relaxed about it, and unconsciously know what works.
That major difference in experience is seen on their instagrams and oftentimes their dating apps.
Context is more important than you think it is
Nonchalant photos imply context.
They show that you:
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Have people around you
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Are working on something
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Have a life outside of dating apps
Not because it is literally shown in the photo, but because it feels that way. aanvoelt.
And that feeling is what attracts women.
Does this mean you should never pose?
No. Everyone understands that photos are taken by others
It's not about posing or not posing. It's about how it feels. If the photo looks like you were trying too hard to “appear good,” then it won't work.
A few posed photos in your profile are fine. As long as the overall profile feels relaxed and natural.
What to do with this practically
If you're reading this and thinking, “okay, but what now?”, then there's a simple answer.
Take more photos.
Not just one moment, not just one pose. But many. Every chance you get:
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when you go out to eat
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When you're on vacation
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When you're at a party
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When you're out for a walk
Ask people for photos. Move. Relax. Practice.
The more often you do this, the easier it becomes. And the faster you get photos that don't feel like a photoshoot.
About Datefoto
With DateFoto I help men take their dating profile to the next level.
From location to natural posing and styling. everything is tailored to what suits you and what women find attractive.
That's how you make the difference between no matches and real connections.
Book a photo shoot at DateFoto and discover how the right presentation can change everything
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